Help Me Feel
by DarkLovesLight
Summary: It had been several weeks since Miranda had last seen her, she had been at Shepard's side then and the former Ceberus officer couldn't help but wonder what she was doing on this particular planet, in this particular place. Slight Spoiler Mass effect 3


It had been several weeks since Miranda had last seen her, she had been at Shepard's side then and the former Ceberus officer couldn't help but wonder what she was doing on this particular planet, in this particular place.

As the deep blue eyes found hers, they seemed quite dull and emotionless and it unsettled her, made her skin creep.

"Liara, what are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral but deep down she already knew why the Asari doctor was here.

Almost mechanically, she answered: "During the battle for Earth, Commander Jane Shepard passed away in a heroic sacrifice that saved the universe."

The news hit like a biotic blast to the chest and for a moment it felt like her internals had stopped working as she heaved for breath, her hands shaking as she grabbed at her stomach, tears falling down onto her clothes.

For a good five minutes both women maintained the silence, only broken by Miranda's sobs. Liara had no more tears left to be spilt, her entire world had stopped when the Crubicle destroyed the Reapers.

"Why are you here?" Miranda finally asked, still looking out before her: "You come all this way just to tell me this?"

Liara's jaws clenched and her eyes hardened for a moment: "I..feel..empty, hollow inside," she struggled with the words: "It keeps replaying in my mind, over and over again and I just feel numb.."

Miranda did not understand or didn't want to understand what the Asari was saying, she was overwhelmed by the knowledge that her friend, the most courageous woman in the entire universe had not survived when she had explicitly told her to be careful.

"I've been to Omega and Illium, hoping I would feel something," Liara continued undeterred, not even flinching as Miranda cried out: "What?!" marching up to the other woman.

"I thought the physical connection would be enough, to make me feel again," the doctor whispered, her voice for the first time cracking: "But it wasn't.."

Miranda's eyes widened, not knowing how to react to this newly obtained information. From what Shepard had told her about Dr. T'Soni, she gathered that the Asari was virtuous, innocent and pure; that she would not lay around with random strangers like commonly perceived of her species.

"Why..?" her throat felt constricted by the question and she feared the answer.

"I need to feel, Miranda," Liara sounded like she was pleading but her face showed nothing: "I need.. I need a mental connection with someone," she lifted her eyes to meet Miranda's, staring deeply into her, like she could read her soul.

The human turned away, breathing out: "I can't," walking over to her glass window looking over the city beneath her and hugging herself tightly trying to shake the feeling of .. of willingness because she could not do this, to the memory of Shepard, she would feel like she was taking advantage of the situation.

"I know that Shepard sought comfort in your arms while I was busy being the Shadow Broker," Liara's voice was soft but growing louder as she came closer: "She told me about your relationship and its nature," she came to stand close, too close because Miranda could feel the heat against her back: "That is why I came to you, it _has _to be you, Miranda," the Asari's hands landed on her hips, slowly turning the brunette to face her before she added softly: "You're the only one I trust with this because you know this, this feeling, you _have _to..," she rushed forward, mashing her lips together with Miranda's with almost bruising force, one of her hands clutching around the human's neck, pulling her closer.

Miranda tried to fight, tried to push her feelings down and lock them away but the desperateness of the kiss, the need for this kind of comfort coming of in waves from the Asari woman was overwhelmingly strong and overpowering like a tornado, sucking all her doubts and hesitation away until there was only ruble left.

She turned them both around, pressing Liara against the cool glass, claiming her lips, mouth and tongue as her own, abusing them because something told her that this might be the only time she would be able to.

She tried to hold on as long as she could, keeping the doctor close to her with hands that did not know where to go or what to touch first.

When Liara pulled away, they both took deep breaths, staring at each other for a couple of moments before the Asari softly pushed, leading Miranda to sit on the edge of the bed, standing in-between her thighs as Liara slowly moved her hands towards the zipper of her dress, bringing it down far too slow, whispering: "On Illium, they liked when I did this.."

Her voice did not waver but through her eyes Miranda could see that she was broken, shattered into a million pieces that she doubted would ever fit back together.

Not wanting to be seen as another one of her lecherous customers, Miranda stood up, taking Liara's hands in her own, holding the Asari's shocked gaze as she softly kissed each hand palm, placing one beautifully soft blue hand around her neck and the other cupping her cheek: "You don't have to do that," she whispered, willing Liara to understand: "Not for me."

A lone tear darkened the blue skin beneath its path, quickly followed by his comrades. Not trusting herself to speak, Liara pulled them together once more.

Miranda whimpered at the taste of sweet tears mixed in their kiss, her hands continuing what Liara's had started, tearing down the dress from the Asari's body and quickly making work of her own attire because she didn't want Liara to feel embarrassed.

Liara's hands began to roam over the wide expanse of milky white skin offered to her, her fingers trembling as she tried to keep her touches light until a bump caught her attention.

Pulling out of the kiss, she looked down at the skin her fingers were circling: "You are hurt."

Miranda followed her line of eyesight, smiling ruefully at the mark left from when her father shot her right before Shepard showed up and saved both her and her sister: "It's scar tissue, I'm fine."

It almost seemed like Liara wanted to ask something but she lightly shook her head, unconsciously rubbing her wet cheeks before pushing Miranda down once more, getting on all fours and following the human to the center of the bed, crawling on top of her.

A moment of hesitation stopped Liara from going further but Miranda broke her out of it: "What would she do?"

The Asari doctor gritted her teeth together, feeling the burn behind her eyes again: "I don't need you to be her, I need you to make me feel.." she sounded desperate and although Miranda had no idea how she would accomplish this seemingly Herculean task, her body moved to action.

The soft caresses of lips and fingertips dancing along her skin were different from the selfishness and brutality she had experienced on Omega and Illium and she became aware of the physical signs that her body was enjoying this but the void was still there, ever present inside of her, waiting to be filled by something unknown to her.

She knew that Miranda was trying her best to comply with her request and it frustrated her so very terribly that she harshly grabbed the human's hand currently not occupied between her thighs and placed it on her lower back, hissing: "Here, hurt me here.."

"Liara..-"

"Please!" she cried out, her head thrown back with closed eyes because she could not bear to look at the human: "Help me feel.."

Miranda was becoming hopeless, she was using everything she knew about Asari anatomy, pushing herself to her limits but she still came short.

She knew what stimulating that certain area on an Asari would do and part of her was afraid of what might happen, wanting to chicken out but as Liara released another pained moan, the human flexed her arm muscles and dug her nails into the Asari's back as hard as she could.

Immediately she was consumed by a black space, stretching all around her and the feelings of pain, guilt, shame and grief came crashing on her so violently she gasped out for air.

The feeling of Liara's pleasure was a mere caress, overshadowed by this darkness that threatened to consume her and now she understood why the physical aspect of this could not help Liara.

"Liara?"

"I am here."

Miranda turned towards the voice, seeing the Asari in all her glory, looking almost regal as she approached but she also had a coldness around her that sent a chill down Miranda's spine.

"What now, Liara?"

"Share your memories of you and Shepard," although it was spoken with softness, her tone was demanding.

"I don't know if-"

"Please! I need to be one with her!"

The sheer desperation Miranda felt was coming from Liara, through their connection, and it made her fall to the ground, gasping for air.

Liara cradled the human's face between her hands, which were soft but so cold, and made her meet her eyes, whispering: "Please.."

Before she knew it, Miranda was back in the Normandy, sitting behind her desk looking over some data pads as her door hissed and opened.

Shepard came in and they talked but it was all vague and scrambled until they started kissing and then the Commander was taking off her clothes in a hurry and taking her so deliciously that she came with the first five minutes.

Before she could recover, she was thrown onto her bed, quickly joined by Shepard and her skillful tongue and hands which made her orgasm a total of six times before the memory broke off and she was left with a painful ache between her legs.

The darkness, she noted, had diminished a considerable amount, the pleasure of her hand between Liara's thighs growing larger and more noticeable, tending to that ache.

It only intensified when Liara started to grind against her while filling her mind with images of the memory they had just both relived.

When they came, Miranda remembered Liara screaming, head thrown back in unmasked ecstasy as the link between their minds was severed.

~0~0~

Miranda came back to her senses to the scene of Liara pulling and zipping up her dress slowly as she was hesitating because of something.

The brunette sat up, wrapping the sheet around her body to cover up her nakedness, gazing over at the Asari: "Where will you go?" she whispered tenderly.

Liara's hands faltered for the slightest moment in their path, her voice once again cool and detached: "I don't know," she took a deep breath: "There is a lot of places where one individual could disappear, forever.."

Miranda looked out of her ceiling window up at the many distant stars flickering across the sky.

She remained quiet because she didn't seem to find the right words for the situation until she saw a figure moving away in the corner of her eye.

"Will I ever see you again?"

Her voice did not hold its usual power and she feared that her question hadn't been heard but then Liara stopped, turned around sharply and marched towards her with such speed that Miranda's instincts went on high alert.

Her back was pushed back into the wall and Liara molded her body against Miranda's as she pressed her soft lips against the brunette's hard and bruising.

All too soon they were gone and Miranda kept her eyes closed as she tried to embed the fuzzy feeling spreading throughout her body into her memory.

Warm breath tickled her still sensitive lips as Liara spoke: "I will never forget you.."

Miranda nodded almost unnoticeably, her eyes screwed shut yet still a tear found a way to roll down her cheek as a coldness enveloped her.

When she finally had the courage to open her eyes, Liara was gone and all she could do was hope that she would eventually be alright.


End file.
